Friday, September 21, 2012

Powerful Thinking

Everyone has always said that thinking/prayer can be powerful. When you want something to happen, pray about it and in due time, God will make it happen. We want things to happen for us and get jealous when those around us are having better luck. But just sometimes, when you least expect it, things work out the way they are suppose to!

My mom has only one sister and they are pretty close. My Aunt Dot lost her husband, my Uncle Ken, last January after a battle with lung cancer. Uncle Ken was a minister (I guess you could call him that...not a Father, not a reverend...I guess a minister) and was always very religious. He gave a blessing for dinner at my brother's wedding 12 years ago. He always wanted the best for us. Last Friday, my Aunt Dot and her son, my godfather Billy, were praying at about 1pm for my mom. They just prayed that her children (Eric, Brian and I) would find the jobs that were meant for us. 

Little did they know that 2 hours later, I would get the call saying I had the permanent sub job that I only interviewed for two days before! I had a much better feeling leaving that interview then I did the first one. I liked the school, thought it was a friendly atmosphere and it felt like it was the right fit for me. I secretly prayed the morning of my interview "I hope they pick me." And so they did!

I filled out a bunch of paperwork yesterday. I am officially starting October 4th! I am honestly so excited! I feel like after everything I have been through that God was finally telling me "this is your time." Even though it is only a permanent sub position, I feel like this is my foot in the door. Who knows, maybe I will only be here for the remainder of this school year. Maybe a full-time position will come out of it. Who knows? Only God does. 

I could have been pessimistic and looked at it like "Oh, it's just a sub job." "I'll never get it." "No one wants to hire me." "My Spanish isn't good enough." "Why is everyone else I know getting a teaching job and I am not?!" But I chose to look at it in a more optimistic view. I will get so much experience. It'll help me! I don't believe I have to do lesson plans considering my assignment could move around day to day. I have never even subbed before so I don't know if I have to write a note at the end of each class or the day to tell the teacher what happened, etc. I guess I'll figure it out shortly!

Once this happened only a short week ago, it got me to thinking about what I want in other aspects of my life. At 25, I feel like I am NOWHERE where I should be at my age. But then again, I think 25 is so young and I have my whole life ahead of me. I look at my relationship with the bf daily and wonder if this is right, if this is meant to be, am I truly happy. Can I truly envision a life with him down the road? I am honestly NOT sure. I don't know what I want anymore really and just want to see where life takes me in the next 3 months, 6 months, year. I have to do what is right for myself and right now, I am just going to take it day by day.

Because like Forrest Gump said...

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