Sunday, February 16, 2014

{A hard lesson learned}

I have really enjoyed linking up with Bailey so far almost everyday in February (I only missed last Saturday because I worked all day at work but I couldn't even figure out what to write on that topic!). Today's prompt is a hard lesson learned. Boy...what a deep and loaded prompt.

I would have to say the hardest lesson I have learned so far in my 27 years of life is to let go of someone, no matter how much it hurts. I have only dated one guy in my life. We met 2 months after I graduated college at a 4th of July picnic (my best friend was dating one of his best friends and she invited me & another friend). We dated for 7 months the first time around. I ended up breaking up with him after 7 months.

Time elapses and I began to miss him. In August 2010 (6 months after we broke up), I heard from my friend that he still had feelings for I did for him. We tried to see if things would come back but then it didn't end up coming that way until April/May 2011 and we made it official that July. Things were great. We went on a cruise to Half Moon Cay, Grand Turk and the Bahamas. We saw The Lion King on Broadway together. We met each other's family. We celebrated a year of dating by going out East on Long Island to Montauk and then a nice dinner.

Then, in September 2012, I was offered my first job in a school as a teaching assistant. He was super excited for me and I loved that. He was supportive. I was tutoring part time, working at the school AND working at a restaurant. When I had a day off to BREATHE, all I wanted to do was sleep (BTW, my schedule is STILL like that...haha!). Then Hurricane Sandy hit and I broke up with him that week. It was totally sudden and something he was not expecting but I had to do it. I felt like we were at two different forks in the road; he was going one way and me another. I knew what I wanted from my future and I just felt he was complacent. He treated me like royalty the whole time we were together so it wasn't like "he wasn't paying attention to me." I just felt like we were at two different spots in life. It takes a lot to say "I love you, but I am not IN love with you anymore. I want you to be happy and find someone."

Instantly, I had regret but as the days went on, it got easier. I knew I made the right decision for myself. Did it suck to be single? Yes. Did it suck to watch your best friends be happy in their relationships while you were alone and wish you had what they had? Yes. I just had to be happy with my decision. I needed me time.

It's been over a year since we broke up and he is in a new relationship. Was I a tad jealous at first that it was him and not me? Maybe a little but I was happy for him. I am focusing on me and I know that when the time is right, someone who just "clicks" with me will come along my way. They will accept me for who I am, what I bring to the table and love me for everything there is...not wanting to change. I am enjoying my single time now but this was definitely something I learned from!

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