Tuesday, February 1, 2011

...not happy...

so not happy right now. at all. disappointed? SEVERELY. i honestly feel like sitting here and crying because i am just frustrated. do i think it's pathetic that i want to sit here and cry over stupid things? yes. did i do it? for about 3 minutes.

i've got a fiery temper to say the least. it can either take a LOT to tick me off or very little. stupid things like taking my wet laundry out of the washing machine and throwing it in a laundry basket because there is stuff in the dryer so you can put your own load in DEFINITELY aggravates me. i have a tendency to forget about my laundry (so it is partially my fault) because depending upon the cycle you use (whites, delicates, etc), the time varies. so my brother decided to do that and needless to say, i screamed out of being pissed off and dropped the F-bomb a buncha times. necessary? no. annoyed? yes. he could've easily taken the crap in the dryer, thrown it in the empty laundry basket, put my stuff in, started it and THEN started his load. do i feel bad i yelled? yes, because i was acting like a 4 yr old and not a 24 yr old. it just annoys me because my siblings do it all the time and granted, if i go to do laundry and they've left stuff in the dryer, i at least put their stuff in to dry! ugh, i over-analyze stupid little things like this but it just annoys me.

i also think i'm pms-ing too and that tends to make me annoyed. seriously, i haven't screamed like i did tonight in probably weeks (my mom would probably beg to differ). whatever. i have a fiery temper. nothing new. i need something constructive to change it and i really wanna run...not gonna happen in the snow or gym. no time (although im sure if i killed myself and woke up at 4am, i could go run). also not happening.

bottom line? i think it stems from the issues im having with student teaching. day two today. no teacher. still out, apparently hoping to be back tomorrow (wednesday) or thursday. i get different updates from the office and the other LOTE teachers. i called his cell. no answer...maybe he isnt available? i'll email him again in the morning (because it might be weird to send it at 11:52pm and then see him possibly). i just feel super overwhelmed, like i have no idea what i'm doing. and i ask myself, "is this placement going to work out?" because i dont want to have to switch...ugh. PRETTY PLEASE, PRAY/WISH/HOPE THAT MY TEACHER COMES IN TOMORROW (unless we have a snow day) or THURSDAY (if he doesn't tomorrow). I'm ready to pull out my hair.

When it gets nice out, I'm going to go running. If I have to go join a gym [again], so help me i will.

I wish I could go have a glass of wine right now. Sadly, it's something lacking in the house. That or I don't know where the corkscrew is. Or I simply just need a smack to snap me into reality and stop flipping out over stupid things.

Might wanna get my laundry out of the dryer now before it ends up outside in the snow or something.

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