Friday's Letters

Dear dog: I LOVE you dearly but please for the love of all that's holy, stop barging into my room at 530am and barking. I just want to sleep in. Thanks to your barking I was woken up twice today and I'm not happy.

Dear boyfriend: I really don't like that you tortured me for two days by telling me you are giving me a gift on Friday (today) and wouldn't tell me. I hate waiting....I am so impatient!

Dear air conditioning: Thank you for existing. You have made the past two days bearable!

Dear a-hole driving up my butt in traffic: The fact that I can't go anywhere because we are in bumper to bumper traffic because no one knows how to drive does not mean tailgate me. Nor does it mean by driving up my butt will you get there faster. And I swear to God, if you ALMOST clip my car, you need to go to a driving class because you clearly have no regard for other people's safety! (I cursed so much on my drive home yesterday).

Dear bedroom: Can you clean yourself and stay that way? I am SO tired of cleaning it and it getting messy again.

Dear Vera Bradley: I love your patterns and bags but can you stop raising the prices of them? The more you do that, the more I want to go buy Coach or Michael Kors!

Dear Atlantic City: I am so excited for next weekend. I am not even sure WHAT is going to hit us! Please be kind on our livers and souls ha ha

Dear bed: I love you so much. Thank you for being a comfortable spot to spend my days off in.

Dear brother #3 of mine: Now that the house is getting rewired for cable and your room will have TV next week (lord willing), stop complaining and put your air conditioner in the window so brother #4 doesn't have to suffer living with your anymore. (I swear brother #4 is a saint). And get your act together.

Dear headache: Please go away. I really dont like having to depend on Excedrin every day.