Wishful thinking

I go back to school on Thursday for a "staff development day." And who even knows what we are going to be doing that day? All the "flyer" said in the e-mail was the start starts at 8am and we report to our prospective buildings at 10am. Technically, my position as the teaching assistant (TA) had to be board-approved again

But, this has got me to thinking...I wish I was going back as the teacher. Don't get me wrong...I am grateful to have a job in an economy when it is hard to get one. And I love being in a school and working with four different teachers...it allows me to see a variety of teaching styles and classroom management techniques. But let's face it....it's not the same as BEING the teacher. 

I went to school for four years for this. I did the entire legwork of the education program as an undergrad but ended up being faced with the ultimate decision to drop it as my major and graduate with just a Spanish degree; therefore, receiving my Masters in Education in grad school. I graduated from grad school two years ago. My certification has only truly been in effect since September of last year. But the debt I have (and the interest accruing) is just ridiculous.

Truth be told (and I feel guilty admitting this), I am completely jealous of everyone who has landed a teaching job lately. Is that selfish of me? Probably. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not jealous of whoever got both positions I interviewed for in my home district....it's great for them they got a job. And someone I went to high school with (and college as well) got a job I applied for. Someone else I know got a job I had applied for. Almost like, too little, too late. Another girl I went to college with (she's a year younger) posted recently on Facebook that she got a job in a private school. And last night, one girl who I worked with last year messaged me to tell me she got a last-minute job offer for Special Education in another district so she wouldn't be coming back. And I had known of a few other people getting jobs that we worked with last year.


I feel excited for them all while feeling as if that will never happen for me. I know that good things come to those who wait. But honestly, how long do I have to wait? Every time I go on an interview, make it to the next round only to not get the job, it makes me wonder what can I do better for next time? How can I make myself stand out as an educator to show them that I am worthy of being hired?

I feel as if I am at a dead end with my job search. Yes, I have my TA job and I am grateful for that extra money. But, most of the jobs I see require you to be certified in Italian now in addition to Spanish. One of my friends told me she doesn't see me teaching in New York and sees me teaching out of New York. I am starting to believe that.I have always joked that I want to move to Georgia but, I am seriously giving it all my faith & dedication this year to finding a job. I am going to be researching the districts/areas I would consider moving to (Georgia, North Carolina and Florida are on my list).

Some people think I am crazy that I would up & move to a place where I know no one just for a job. But that is what my 20's are all about, aren't they? I don't have anything really tying me to NY aside from my family (no apartment, no home, no man). Most of the time people say/tell you that with a New York State teaching license, you're GOLDEN in another state....aka they'd really want you. I can only hope that will be true as I go on my quest for a job.

I know God has something set in store for me. He has bigger plans than I have for myself. He knows the right time to lay them out and I am just being too impatient to let it happen. I just have to let go of my jealousy and trust that the right job will come when God believes it is destined for me.

I look forward to reading how the journeys of new teachers like Jamie and Nicole, who have blogs that I have been reading/following forever, pan out. And I am so excited for the Teacher Talk link up they're hosting that I am partaking in.