Shadow

Words cannot describe the heartache I have as I am writing this post. They just don't. Today was one of the hardest days I have had in awhile. I have never cried about something so much as I did today...and all the days leading up to today.

My dog Shadow, a beautiful black Cocker Spaniel, was my baby and today, I had to put her to sleep. I am absolutely heart broken. We would have had her 10 years this upcoming August. We got her about 4 months after we had to put my last dog, Rusty, another Cocker Spaniel, to sleep because he had fluid around his heart and it would just keep filling back up. My brother Brian was going off to school and I didn't want to come home to an empty house. 

My mom & I looked for months at the shelters (we prefer to rescue) and could not find a cocker spaniel. One morning while reading the paper, she found an ad for one and called the lady. At first, she told my mom there was no adoption fee, then she told her it was $150. We met her in town, I saw the dog, fell in love and told my mom I wanted it. She had two kids with her and said that she'd follow us back to our house to make sure the dog liked it there and then leave her overnight. If we didn't want her, she'd get her the next morning....the lady never came back. 

From that day on, Shadow took to me. She followed me around the house (hence us changing her name from Honey to Shadow). When I went to college and came home for a break, she would always get SO SO SO excited to see me that I had to pet her outside first because she would pee! Ha! Shadow loved to go in my mom's garden and eat the tomatoes right off the vine. She loved her pizza. I swear she thought she was Italian...and human. Whenever my mom was cooking, she was at her feet. She loved to paw open my bedroom door when I was sleeping to check on me and then sleep in my room. 

Shadow was a beautiful animal. She barked any time anyone came home because she loved to guard her palace. She loved to sleep in her cage, on her back, especially when the sun was beaming in the windows. I am thankful my family was able to give her a life that I know she enjoyed and I am forever grateful that she was my fur baby. I just couldn't stand to see her in any pain anymore. She was having trouble breathing, trouble swallowing. Her eye kept draining and she didn't want anything to do with her food. My brother was house sitting for our uncle this week and was SHOCKED at the rapid decline in her from when he saw her last Sunday. It hurts knowing we had to do this right before Easter but I am just glad she is out of misery. The look in her eyes as the vet took her away just broke my heart and I had to walk out of the room because I was hysterically sobbing. 

Rest in peace my beloved sweet dog. It breaks my heart knowing I will not see you tomorrow morning when I go down for my coffee and hear you bark when I open the front door. But you will always always be my baby girl. No dog in the future can ever replace her. 

 

Me & my baby 3-29-13

 

 I love you, Shadow. Always and forever.